Snip-Snip

Adult circumcision comes in many forms, two days ago I experienced my first snip in adulthood; I watched a lifetime movie. More preparation time should have been taken in the form of blocking channels such as Lifetime, Oxygen and the Oprah Winfrey Network from the house entirely, and for that I have only myself to blame. I also should have been more DVR prepared and not let the list of recorded man shows (Survivorman, How its Made, and anything with Katie Morgan on HBO) run so low.


DVR preparedness is a class that should be taught during all marriage preparations classes. If two simple rules are followed what happened to me can easily be avoided. First off Record anything and everything that remotely interests you. I record everything from the TV guide channel to ESPN classic. There is no better response to your wife asking do you want to watch some television than, “Honey I would love to but the DVR is so backed up I need to get that 1978 Cotton Bowl game off of there so the Young and the Restless will record tomorrow.” The second rule, shows that you watch together should only be viewed together if it comes at a cost to your spouse. Example: she is watching Rachel Ray cook a 30 minute meal that you know will never actually make its way to your table, so you say, “Honey lets watch Modern Family while we have time to spend together.” Boom! You get the living room television control at no cost to you, and after the 30 minute program the channels makes its way over to basketball.

Lack of common sense led to the stomach turning moment that occurred Tuesday night, Logan asked, “Want to cuddle and watch a lifetime?” I would rather walk around with a white head the size of a peanut on the tip of my nose for an entire day than do that. So I did what any self respecting member of the He-man Woman Haters Club would do; got in bed and watched the movie.

Now many of you who know me know that pointless information and news related items are My Everest so this particular movie did tickle my fancy. Truth be told Logan actually said the Amanda Knox movie and it was not until the first commercial break when the trailer for the Period Chronicles or Menopause Monthly aired I had no idea this flick was on the Estrogen network (Lifetime).

So my vow to all you out there; this will never happen again. I will strictly stick to ESPN, History Channel, and FOX; which thank the lord carries Glee. I will not stray to the dark side again even if it means gulp….turning off the television and just talking to my wife. Television superiority does not have to be a battle any longer in our house as I will simply just flip the breaker off, everyone knows women have no idea where the break box is located. So I leave you with one final thought…wait a second, what’s that; there is a movie about the Craigslist Killer I have to go!

If you were curious, this Curtis touches his feminine side!