Snowy days make you think, and start drinking wine...

As we are sitting here watching the snow Logan asked, "Troy, when are you going to die?". Not until recently, did I realize, that I was only assuming the statement 'Do you think' was included in that sentence. My response used to be thirty-five. Nothing really good happens after that, you basically break down like the legs and headboards on fraternity beds . Recently my stance has changed I now want to die as age 75 because that will be after the best 10 years of my life. From age 1-18 your parents control you from age 18-30ish your boss/college dean control you and then from 30-65 control of your life is alternated by kids (a whole blog post on them later) and your boss. Then from age 75-death your life is controlled by the retirement home nurses and your kid's spouses who put you in there. So from age 65-75 is the only time Troy will run Troy. Many of you I am sure are thinking, "Troy you seem like a rebel without a cause now, I wish I could be as carefree and as naturally beautiful as you, but you are forgetting about your wife controlling you." And I would say you are right.




That 65-75 age range is now my goal not only could I finally wear sweatpants in public without persecution and say wildly inappropriate things to 20 years old girls with no consequences but the only things I will have to answer to are an over active bladder and failing liver. Speaking of inappropriate, I am very concerned how I am going to react to looking at a girl, thinking she is attractive, and then finding out she was born in the 00's or whatever we are going to call it. This concerns me, because for legal purposes, its only 7 years away.



Which brings me to my final point of the day, old people diseases at early ages. Logan nor I can make it through the night without peeing, when I was younger I could case race, pee twice, do shots, pee once then wake up the next morning; now I drink water after 8 pm I'm up twice in the middle of the night. If its safe to assume this problem to get worse I will have an Ambian and bed wetting problem by 40. Diverticulitis struck a friend of the same age recently I will not mention names because a Colon infection is not a laughing matter nor would I suggest him reading this, one stray laugh and he could set off that ticking time bomb he is sitting on. I know the people reading this could write out a laundry list of diseases that would make the residents at Shady Pines giggling through their oxygen masks and dulcolax popsicles.



If you were Curious, the Curtis' think about getting old.